Ministering Like a Gardener

Have you ever had a garden before? If not a full garden, perhaps a little potted plant that you kept inside next to a window. I myself lack a super green thumb, but I've spent summers watching my mom and my sister nurture seeds into large, bustling zucchini, cucumber, pumpkin, bean, and spinach plants. They didn't do anything directly to cause those fruits and vegetables to grow -- all it took was putting them in sunlight, providing them water, housing them where they have room to expand, and eliminating the weeds that attempt to smother them out. Gardeners do a lot of things to make sure that their produce has a chance to flourish. But never could my sister force her squash to grow, nor dictate how. So too is the relationship between minister and those receiving Truth. In the past week or so, I've prayed that God would give me opportunities to share Him with others. Goodness gracious, has He provided! Multiple individuals that I've naturally stumbled into conversation with have opened up to me, bringing up the topic of religion of their own volition. Within those moments, I listen and try to provide the water of Truth to the seeds of questions, doubts, struggles, dismissals, and jadedness presented to me. I take the opportunities to be a gardener. But although I'm quite honored to see God work like this, I've found myself worrying about the subsequent growth -- or lack thereof. Did I water enough? Did I tug at enough weeds? Did I shine enough light onto the true character of my Savior so that His love proves undeniable? Did my words create enough room for salvation to slip in? Imagine the sad state of a farmer that can't sleep because she wonders whether or not the crops she planted will be successful. After she's done all that's in her power with all the time and resources presented to her, there's no benefit to wringing hands over things that are completely beyond her control. After finding myself overwhelmed with the fear of shortcoming, I read Psalm 40 and became absolutely struck by the danger of my thinking. I have no control over the intricacies of life! My words are tiny -- I myself am so small -- the weight of them does not even move my palm nor fill much more than a fraction of it with their size. I realized that I should never ask myself if I performed sufficiently, because faith is not a performance used to coerce. There's a rhetoric to everything, but to get bogged down by it and follow a script in conversation is to kill a relationship, not foster it. I began to ask myself a few questions regarding those ministering encounters:

1. Was I present?

2. Was I loving?

3. Was I honest?

4. Did I create a safe place?

5. Did I present myself as a resource?

6. Did I offer future conversation?

In a world of things I cannot control, these are real things that I can do: I can speak and refuse silence; I can rest solid on God's foundation; and I can trust His power to guide me as only He can, then grow even the smallest of slivers that I slide into the dirt. Verse 8 reads, "I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart." And that, in my eyes, is truly the root of it all. I earnestly thirst to have important conversations and build good relationships, first with my Lord and next with others, then put aside my own will for God's glory. Verses 9 and 10 continue, "I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, Lord, as you know. I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help. I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness from the great assembly." To be silent is to wither the seed long before it's ever conceived to be planted. To stress about what comes next is to mistake my role in the Kingdom. And to become distracted with performing growth is to distract myself from what really matters: being present, loving, honest; creating safety, information, and follow-up opportunities to talk.  For anyone struggling with engaging in ministry in their own lives, let this sink in. You are a gardener in all aspects of your life, but in no context are you personally responsible for creating growth, nor reaping a massive harvest. Put aside the crippling, fearful control of what comes next. You are called to sow and to tend, not to manifest production in others.  Psalm 40 (NIV) 1 I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and the mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.  4 Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. 5 Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.  6 Sacrifice and offering you did not desire--but my ears you have opened--burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require. 7 Then I said, "Here I am, I have come--it is written about me in the scroll. 8 I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart." 9 I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, Lord, as you know. 10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help. I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness from the great assembly.  11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord; may your love and faithfulness always protect me. 12 For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me. 13 Be pleased to save me, Lord; come quickly, Lord, to help me. 14 May all who want to take my life be put to shame and confusion; may all who desire my ruin be turned back in disgrace. 15 May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!" be appalled at their own shame. 16 But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, "The Lord is great!"  17 But as for me, I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; you are my God, do not delay.