As imperfect humans, we theoretically have a lot to be ashamed of. All of the conversations in which we spoke blatant harm, the days we served ourselves at the expense of others, and the actions we took that went against God's heart. Sin consumes us each and every day, whether or not we actively acknowledge it.
But shame does not define your worth. It is a byproduct of sin which plagues us, a thing we are born into and which reinforces itself through our education. Not everyone experiences shame at the same potency as others, but everyone knows it -- leaving the manifestations of shame to differ from person to person. This can stem from either a physical or theoretical place before growing into behaviors that give away the true feelings dwelling within.
Let's go back to the beginning and catch up with Adam and Eve. The first thing both of them do after eating the fruit is act on the experience of shame for their bodies. Genesis 3:7-10 (NIV) reads, "Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, 'Where are you?' He answered, 'I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.'" Whenever anyone has a strong, negative emotional reaction, the source of that is usually fear. Whenever someone feels fear, take it a step further to inquire into what might linger behind that. Fear is often the shame of a "what if": Fear of failure relates to the shame of falling short, fear of speaking up the shame of rejection, fear of trying something new the shame of exposing personal incapability or incorrectness.
As expressed through this section of Genesis, fear only comes after sin introduces itself into the lives of people. Before that, was Adam worrying about his muscular physique? Was Eve stressing about her body type? No -- in fact, nothing about their bodies experienced any stigma or judgment. They simply existed as God made them and went about life to execute their functions in Eden. Fear came as a product of sin; therefore shame, while a natural reaction outside of God's intended design for humanity, does not become us. We were not meant to feel it.
Unfortunately, our modern culture makes living without bodily shame very difficult, particularly feminine individuals fed relentless messages which warp our self-perception. But shame doesn't end there. Less physical concepts of social appearance also affect us and cause us to react out of fear. Have you ever worried over how someone perceives you? Have you ever felt the urge for revenge after someone blatantly disrespected you, tarnished your pride, or wounded your sense of honor? These are intangible, and yet can evoke action based upon shame. And much of that shame should not even rest upon us!
Go a bit further through Genesis and we find a very toxic -- and very difficult to confront -- reaction to shame. In chapter 34, Jacob's daughter Dinah is raped by a local Hivite. Dinah gets no space to speak or react or seek her justice thanks to the patriarchal, misogynistic culture at the time. That raises my temperature and makes the story extremely distressing, but it's made even worse by the fact that the men in her life take it personally. Two of her brothers go and attack all the men in the perpetrator's city, defending their violence by claiming, "Should he have treated our sister like a prostitute?" They frame it to appear as though they were protecting Dinah's honor when, really, they were angry. Which means that they were afraid. Which means that shame lurked in the background of their behavior.
I imagine God groaned at this whole situation. Nothing good happened. All it accomplished was to display just how desperately humans need the cleansing and guidance of the Lord. Shame rewrites the content of our character, our hearts, and puts us into a tunnel vision. It compels us to hide our physical selves; to act on impulse; to worry about ourselves and not take care of others as we ought to. And this impulse resides within all of us because none of us are without sin.
So how are we to rise above shame? Not by running away. Not by fighting. Not by projecting your fears into negativity and chaos. In fact, our only hope of overcoming is to turn to God.
Psalm 4:1-5 says, "Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer. How long will you people turn my glory into shame? How long will you love delusions and seek false gods? Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him. Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Offer the sacrifices of the righteous and trust in the Lord."
There are a few practical applications to this. First of all, we must ask for help! Next, we must understand that shame is related to falsity and involves a turned attention from God. Lastly, we must actively wrestle with it, and yet never succumb. Search your hearts and be silent. Do not act on the lies and self-centered, aggressive, detrimental impulses which arise from our anger, our fear, our shame. It may seem impossible. But after searching, there will be rest in our Lord: "In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety" (verse 8). So perhaps we cannot overcome shame. But God can. He alone can pierce through the noise and guide you closer to who we all were meant to be: Shameless and wholly reliant on identity in Him.
Very thoughtful insights. Bless you!