What Owns You?

I've had a chance to think about what it means to surrender everything to God during these past few weeks. What such a thing actually entails. Correct me if I'm wrong, but most of our lives are lived with the intentions to do as we are called -- we just have a knack at reasoning with ourselves that the time isn't right, we aren't prepared, or we haven't explored all of the options. Submitting becomes a matter of timing and strategy.

But that's not how God works. He sees how to use us in the present, as we are, regardless of. He waits for us to submit today. That act of giving up and giving over is all-encompassing, all-involved, and all-important, yet somehow seems to us so daunting, even impossible at times.

Perhaps the reason why we wait for the "ideal moment" is out of fear of monumental change. Surrendering all is agreeing to step away from relationships with people whom you love, to reach into your savings, to set aside dreams and impulses and comforts. To truly become a servant of God is to look stupid within a world of accumulation. Luckily, in the uncertainty of a full surrender, there's a promise to which we may cling: when we serve our generous Creator instead of the anxious, self-centered self, we trade our great want for a want of nothing.

God doesn't ensure us plenty or ease when we walk with Him -- He does, however, make clear that knowing and submitting to His goodness is the only fulfilling move.

In my own personal quest to be faithful, I keep coming back to ideas of ownership and purpose. I yearn to be owned by God, His to command and fully reliant. I also want to know how I can have a sense of higher design when I have such a broken, sinful nature. This passage of 2 Timothy 2:14-26 screams wisdom and insight into both:

14 Keep reminding God's people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. 15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 16 Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. 17 Their teaching will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, 18 who have departed from the truth. They say that the resurrection has already taken place, and they destroy the faith of some. 19 Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness."

20 In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. 21 Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.

22 Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 23 Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

There are so many things to dig into with these words, but I've put in bold the parts that slap me in the face. Look at what Paul writes to Timothy about servitude! in verse 15, his advice is not to be perfect always, or hold yourself to an elevated standard, but to "Do your best to present yourself to God". We are not called to stand above others -- we need only to make a point of turning to God, crying out to Him "I submit! Please use me!", and taking heart each day. That's nothing fancy. It's just the knowledge that we fall short time and time again, yet never need to buckle to shame, just push forward with prayer and trust each day.

Many things stand in our way of being faithful. All of them are mere pebbles in the path when we are serving Him who moves mountains.

What happens, then, if we don't submit now? What if we hesitate to hand everything over and let You, dear Creator, mold us for our good and Your glory? Well. We can be taken captive. Verse 26 makes it clear that Satan can use us for his purposes just as God can use us for His. I won't dissect 2 Peter chapter 2 here, but verses 18-19 read: "For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of the flesh, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity -- for 'people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.'" We may confess with our tongues that Jesus is King, but unless we put our lives into that truth, there are other things which can distract and enslave. Even those who believe and still have our focus wrenched aside to serve another.

Something on this earth is going to own you. We are not, as we are often told, our own. We either serve God or wrong powers.

That's that, as far as I'm concerned. We can't wait to submit. It's time to surrender each and every moment. But where does that lead us? What becomes of us when we trade our own volition for higher, God-ordained purposes?

Through the Old Testament, on that note of purpose, Paul insists that some people are intended for more than others. His metaphor in 2 Timothy 2:20 presents the metaphor of either being a common wooden bowl or a special vessel of gold intended for more. He is not elevating himself; he is not discriminating between great servants and mediocre ones; he is communicating to Timothy, and thus to us, that God makes ANYONE cleansed into "instruments for special purposes". As long as we are willing to be transformed, we are made of gold and meant for more. All who bow in servitude are the same as each and every one of their brothers and sisters before the throne. God uses us for better things than we could ever accomplish on our own.

We are not special, holy, nor useful by merit of our own personage. We are special, holy, and useful because of the blood shed by Jesus, the open arms of the Father, and a Spirit planted within us for discernment.

So, with all of this in mind, of course I want to be a slave to God. I want my obsessions -- which are inevitable upon this earth -- to center upon Him. I want a better form so that I can be used for the higher purposes God has in store for all his obedient servants. And whenever someone looks at me, I want them to realize that I am not my own, that I am God's, and even as I throw myself to my knees, I am set free by grace.